So get this…
It was a Friday that seemed ripped from the movie of the same name. I had the day off work, and my friend Bird had decided to skip his classes at the local community college. And that meant one thing and one thing only. It was time to smoke. And smoke hard.
After getting out of bed, I thought about grabbing my bowl and weed for a bit of "wake and bake," but then I stopped myself short. It was a beautiful winter day full of fluffy white clouds and chirping birds. As I looked out my window, a group of shorties walked by in tight-ass skirts. It was time to get outside and enjoy all that it had to offer. It was time for a joyride down High Street. I shot a text to Bird, and he instantly agreed.
High Street was our favorite place for an early-morning burn. It’s a dead-end street on the outskirts of town that runs directly up a hill and ended at a fantastic overlook of the city. In short, it was the perfect place to catch one and drink some Kona Koffee.
I picked up Bird in my car. He ran into and got two fatass Konas. We headed up to High Street and were smoking a nice blunt in no time flat. So there we were: I in the driver's seat and he in the passenger seat, encased in a cloud of smoke, looking out through the haze at an incredibly blue sky. It was absolute bliss.
When the smoke cleared, I put the key in the ignition and drove away.
So we’re rolling down and damn, I was so paranoid! I looked around and everyone was like looking at me. Then Bird starts laughing, and then I started laughing, and we’re just frickin’ dying.
Then Bird pulls out some special air freshener and he was like tripping on it.
“It’s so good man! It smells just like pineapples!” he kept saying.
But I was like, “No man, I don’t want my car to smell like pineapples! Don’t spray it!
And then I got really paranoid. A cop began following us.
And now Bird is really tripping, and was all like, “We gotta spray it or we’re going to jail dude!”
“”Fuck it. You’re right. Spray it,” I said. “Hurry up! Fuck we are so screwed.”
Visions of Bird and myself in prison stripes instantly flew through my mind. But Bird was cool like a cucumber.
He whipped out the air freshener. I had never seen this shit before. A couple quick sprays and the skunky blunt smell was gone, instantly replaced by the fresh scent of a pineapple. Like, frickin’ the most delicious damn pineapple you’ve ever smelled.
I looked at Bird as if he were a superhero. I couldn’t believe that he'd just managed to rid the car of the smell of weed in a matter of seconds. This was certainly no ordinary car air freshener.
The cop stopped us. When he came up I just remembered what my Pops used to say, “Just be polite and don’t hassle them.”
So I did.
He comes up and says, “Son, do you know you’re driving around with a cup of coffee on your car?”
“Oh Snap Officer!” I said. “Damn Bird - you are so damn stoopid!”
We both just busted out laughing. Then the cop started laughing too!
He did look us over and peeked in the car, but he only issued us a polite warning about leaving objects on the top of our car. As we drove away from the scene, I was so happy and grateful that I could kiss Bird right on the lips.
When he turned to me, he looked every bit like a frickin rock star. “BluntPower Fast-Acting Air Freshener saves the fricking day!” he said, blowing on the nozzle of the air freshener like it was the barrel of a gun.
True dat. True frickin dat.