There are some people who only get stoned on special weekends and holidays. There are some who blaze when they party. For these people, smoking out is a social thing. You do it in the open (at private parties) with friends all around. But for those of us who blaze on the daily, sometimes it's necessary to become a stoner ninja just to maintain that golden glow you've come to rely on.
Whether you use the sweet leaf to keep your cool, treat a condition, or just to make family outings more tolerable, we've got some expert tips from pro stoner ninjas on how to stay blazed when your companions need to stay in the dark. Here are the ways of the hidden stoner clans.
First and foremost, become someone who always has a spare pocket. Big and numerous pockets are your best friend for hiding an entire smoke shop of gear on your person without being suspicious. That said, with a perfected technique, you'll only need a small handful of items to blaze comfortably in secret and in public.
Get a jacket with wide sleeves and a deep inner breast pocket, as well as deep side pockets and possibly front pockets over the chest. Wear pants with pockets or, if that's not possible because your pant-pockets are stitched or facades, carry a shoulder bag that is quickly and easily accessible like a pocket.
Then fill your pockets with stuff to grab. If you are constantly retrieving gum, keys, and other things from your pockets, reaching for the weed won't stand out.
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Start with your blazing device. If you smoke a pipe, pick a pinner or a tiny spoon that fits safely into a pocket or sleeve. Look for designs that don't dump the bowl or pick up a silicone cap. If you vape, pick up a small pencil-sized rig that's easy to load and hide in your palm. You can also bring one or a small collection of joints. Just have a handy tool to stub it out after a quick puff.
Do yourself a favor, pick up a miniature lighter. If it's still comfortable in your hands, a miniature lighter takes up less space and is less likely to alert practiced eyes that are used to watching for smoking gear. Keep your mini-lighter in an accessible pocket that does not tightly outline.
If you vape, remember that charging on the go is rarely possible. Bring at least two spare batteries or sets of batteries depending on your vape rig, just in case.
The stoner ninja can take hits even in public or with a disapproving group of companions. The trick is to hide the hit and the smoke afterward. A little portable cover can be really helpful, as long as you don't attempt Scooby-Doo levels of subtlety. Try these accessories on for size:
With any one of these, you can park yourself with your back to a wall and catch a hit while everyone paying attention to something else.
When you're blazing on the go, you don't have time to break up buds and load your pipe. That process is messy, sticky, and obvious. Even with a great grinder. But a grinder can help you in more ways than one. A compartment grinder with a clean section to store ground leaf can allow you to quickly pinch and load a new bowl on a long day outing of stealth-stoning.
One cool trick you might try is making packets of ground leaf. In the musket era of warfare, soldiers would pack gunpowder into perfectly measured paper twists for quick reloading. You can do the same with leaf for a quick-load technique.
If you vape concentrates instead, consider packing yourself a few pre-separated balls of shatter or wax so that you can quickly scoop and reload with a small metal or silicone tool.
Part of the trick to stoning away from home is knowing where to catch your hits. The more often you can step away from the group and out of sight for a few seconds without alerting anyone, the better. So know how to spot those out-of-sight places. Between a sign and a wall, in a little nook in the brickwork, in a shrubbery enclosure; all of these places are good to go.
If you're alone or wandering to and from your group, you can also scope out where the employees catch a smoke and get a quick hit there. These are usually either picnic tables out behind the venue or behind the trash enclosure.
If you are going to need to refill or work with your weed during the outing, make sure to prep for minimal disruption. A small smell-proof bag can keep your prepped stash from alerting sharp-nosed friends and authorities. And a roll-up workspace for breaking up bowls or repairing your vape rig is a smart way to go. You can choose a hinged box that folds and locks or a silicone set of gear that is both flexible and easy to pack away.
If you're smoking a bowl or joint, don't let your fingertips give you away. Pipes need a metal or silicone tamper so that you can finish a bowl without getting that signature ashy fingertip. For joints, just be careful not to color your fingers. Hold the joint differently each time you take a hit and minimize the amount your fingers encounter anything but the filter. Oh, and roll with a filter.
As we wrap up, remember minimize your hit visibility. A big cloud of smoke or vape is going to catch someone's attention but you don't have to blow clouds. There are a few tricks to make your hits disappear while still getting pleasantly high.
The color in the smoke is particles that have not been absorbed by your membranes. The longer you hold a hit, the more particles are absorbed. Your hits are more likely to disappear if you hold them for a long time.
Blowing smoke out through your nose serves three purposes. First, it gets you hella stoned. Second and third, it helps the smoke disappear and points the smoke downward instead of up into the air.
We mentioned the scarf earlier, but that's not just to hide your activities. A big scarf wrapped around your face absorbs a certain amount of smoke and hides your exhale.
If you have to let go of a big hit, blow that cloud around the other side of a corner as you pass and your companions will be none-the-wiser.
When you loose a hit, sometimes the delicious pungent dank smell will hang in the air around you, and that's no good. Carry a small yet powerful air freshener like Blunt Power with you to quickly cover that stank. If you stone out of sight and need to come back smelling like a rose, spray a cloud of air freshener and walk through it back to your friends. If your cloud stanks the area by accident. replace it with a soft, natural smell like lemon or fresh rain.
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Last but definitely not least is the stoner code. If one of your friends or relatives is savvy enough to know what's up and they seem cool, invite them in on the fun. Share your bowl with anyone who surprises you with their coolness and you can become part of a shared stoner ninja clan.