The "Woke" Stoners Coronavirus Survival Guide

When the ish gets heavy, we like to make jokes.

You know us and that's just our style. So we've been playing it cool through this Coronavirus thing. But as the globe goes into a freaking historic telecommuting lock-down, maybe it's time to talk the real shit for a minute.

We know you're still gonna hookup weed. So here's what you need to know to do it safely:

What You Need to Know About COVID-19

Infected Lung Mucous
Exhaled, Coughed, and Sneezed
Travels Up to 6 Feet
Hangs in the Air for Up to 4 Hours
Remains on Surfaces for Up to 5 Days
Transmits When You Touch Your Face or Breathe It
Kills Old People
Does Not Kill Little Kids
Killed by Sanitizing and Disinfecting

COVID-19 Real Talk

Right now, COVID-19, a deadlier and repeating version of the flu-family virus, is sweeping the planet.

People are getting sick everywhere. Kids are mostly safe, but old people are in some pretty serious danger. About 6% of cases get serious, but everyone else is fine. There's about a 3% death-toll. It would be 2% but the huge boomer generation are currently retirees, so that's a problem we're dealing with.

The strong thing about the virus is that it spreads like lightning. It's very communicable, and sneaky A.F. The weak thing about COVID-19 is that it's pretty easy to kill with normal sanitizing and disinfecting methods.

Coronavirus is transmitted from infected lung particles when an infected person breathes, coughs, or sneezes. It can travel up to 6 feet in a cough, and settle on everything in the room. It can hang in the air for up to 4 hours in tiny particles and can live on a hard surface for up to 5 days, still infectious. most symptoms are mild, so most people don't yet know they're a carrier.

The only way to contain the infection spread is to stay home. You and your household members share illness and immunity already, so it's okay to be within 6-feet of them, but clean pretty regularly anyway. Do not risk going within 6-feet of anyone outside your household family, and/or be very careful about germs, sanitized surfaces, face-covering, and what you bring back into the house.

Don't Get Stuck Stankin While You Social Distance. Keep BluntPower Air Freshener & Incense On Deck.

Know Your Disinfected Dispensaries

Believe it or not, dispensaries are still open. They've just changed their business model to suit the new requirements. Fortunately, dispensaries were ready for this. With the heavy regulations on things like security and how many people can be indoors at once, systems quickly went into place to help keep customers six-plus feet apart when hooking up the bud and concentrates.

Look up your local and/or favorite dispensaries to find out which ones have already implemented disinfecting safety protocols. Those with COVID-19 policies and a welcoming banner are your new destination for safely shopped weed. Just be courteous about covering your face when out and washing thoroughly when you return.

Sanitize Product Packaging

Most weed is stored and sold in plastic containers. COVID-19 can live infectiously on plastic for up to four days. So just in case your container picked up some infected breath-particles, wipe each one down (and your hands) when you exit the store. This way, you don't accidentally bring a scrap of infection-risk back when you return to your household.

Don't Gather to Stone

Stoner friends and relatives love to get together to share a joint, a bong, or a blunt. If you live with fellow-stoners, then consider yourself lucky and form a coalition. However, do not invite your friends over or visit someone else to stone. This risks infecting another household or bringing an infection home. Passing a joint or mouthpiece from person to person also specifically swaps the particles in a way that is almost guaranteed to infect, if one person in a stoning circle has the virus without knowing.

Just because you are social distancing doesn't mean you have to feel alone. A few sprays of these air fresheners will transport your mind to a tropical island resort party.

Celebration

Pineapple

Black Rain

Don't Panic Over a Cough

Stoners cough. It's a fact of life. Unfortunately, one of the primary symptoms of Coronavirus is shortness of breath and a cough. Use your own self-knowledge. If it feels like a stoner cough and you can clear it out in a steamy shower, you're good. Don't start thinking "Do I have covid?!" until you develop a fever or the coughing starts to feel unusual to your normal smoking experience

Stoning While Home with Family

Okay, here's something we didn't see coming: The challenge of smoking at home when your entire family is also stuck at home. Whether you live with your parents or your kids, it can be tough to get a moment alone, especially if you try not to stone in-front of certain family members out of courtesy or role-modeling.

Start by building yourself an open-air or ventilated space that is visually separate. Let your family know that's your designated personal-space that will ensure family peace and harmony. In fact, encourage everyone to claim a private corner when they need alone-time; especially in a full household. Then use a few spritzes of Blunt Power air freshener to ensure the smell of your staycation-tokes don't bother family or neighbors. It's as easy as that.

Find yourself a lovely corner of the back porch, a balcony, or even a safe section of your roof to make your own.

Need To Clear The Air Fast? These Ultra Powerful Odor Eliminators Destroy Stank Odors In The Blink Of An Eye & Replace Them With Unforgettable Aromas That Last.

Bamboo Mist

Caribbean Escape

Super Hemp

Order Munchies Online

Going to the grocery store right now is not safe, but ordering groceries for no-contact delivery is. Sure, youve heard that stores are currently low on essentials because of panic-shopping, but there's a fun fact: A lot of sodas and junk food are still on the shelves, along with some nostalgiac canned goods. Stoners, my friends and fellow junk-food lovers, now is our time. Check out what crazy stuff you'd be willing to eat is still in stock for grocery delivery the next time you need food. Oh, and plenty of take-out places are available and even more restaurants than normal are offering delivery. So yeah. Might as well make it a stay-cation.

Toking With Buddies Online

The stoner culture, for many, is all about toking with your friends. You can't gather together right now, but you can still gather to stone. Get familiar with one of the many free video-chat programs and get all your friends on the same software. Then connect, laugh, chat, and take hits at the same time for that familiar stoner solidarity we often crave.

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It's time to take social-distancing, sanitization, and the stay-home order seriously to stop the deadly spread of this virus. But that doesn't mean you have to stay sober for the duration. On the contrary! This is our moment. Our golden opportunity to toke at home, order junk-food and takeout because that's all that's available, and to very safely shop at sanitized dispensaries. And for all your social-stoning needs, connect online.